Thursday, September 23, 2010

I am a virtual game addict

One of the downsides to being unemployed is that I am pretty much free to do whatever I want. How is this bad? The first being, if I don’t apply to jobs, no one will ever offer me one, that’s for one. The second downside is, I have to say no to playing virtual games.
I never thought that I would have such a problem, but as my score begins to rise, this competitive side kicks in, and I want to be the number one person, of all my friends, on that list. Even when it’s been months and I have been crushing a game and no one else is even playing anymore, I still can’t stop. Why?! Because the magical game fairies come out with a new gimmick, that makes the game even more addicting to me.
Originally I used the virtual games as a reward system. When I would accomplish something in my school work, as a reward I would then play one of my games. Then when I began applying and researching jobs I would use the games as a reward if I applied to a certain amount of jobs that day. But as time went on, and the jobs all seemed to be the same, my reward became my escape.
Virtual games give no “reward” people say, but that is not true. I feel as though I have accomplished something when I move up the ranks. I feel like I am really good at something, and my determination and planning can be seen with the ease I begin to dominate. But the truth is, now my games aren’t as much fun, but I just don’t see why I should stop. My answer was always, “I will stop when I get a job,” but that day has not come yet. So as time goes on, I play the games more and more, not as a reward, but to feel like I am “doing” something. The worst part is, this once “rewarding” experience now controls my schedule. My day is scheduled around my fake kitchen, and fake farm, and this is no way to live.
As I work more on my writing the games have gone back to being rewards. And hopefully soon I will be able to say, I remember when I used to have the top score in that game, before I had this job.

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